Every day I wonder what is really responsible for the current fantasy craze. This post is not an exploration of possible explanations for fantasy’s contemporary allure, but rather an observance of and revelry in some of the culminating mystique that supernatural fancy has wrought upon our reality. Because seriously, it’s gettin’ all Xanth up in here!
Feast your eyes on Skyrim’s iteration of the hot TALON CRAZE! Early in the fifth Elder Scrolls installment you will likely encounter and come to possess the Golden Claw key. I have an unfortunate anecdote from the eponymous quest, it was the moment that really drove home realization that my Toshiba is not up to snuff for delivering Skyrim graphics.
There I was, sneaking through caves and rummaging to my heart’s content, when I came upon a mysterious doorway. I could see a grand room beyond but, while there were no visible objects barring my passage, for some reason my character could not pass through. After searching in vain for a secret latch or trigger that might allow me to cross the EMPTY SPACE THRESHOLD confounding my entry, I begrudgingly sought answers via the Internet.
Major buzzkill when I discovered (while watching a walkthrough) that the doorway was blocked by cobwebs – COBWEBS WHICH COULD NOT BE RENDERED DUE TO MY PITIFUL GRAPHICS SETTINGS. What do you mean these dungeons are littered in webby delights from centuries-long spider inhabitants?! My treks have been pristiiine, each table and chest unmarred by the test of time. Cut to me whacking through the
imaginary barricade of spiderwebs and completing said quest, but not before binge-downloading mods to curtail my system’s inadequacies.
Here’s an excerpt from my secret diary to show you what healthy coping looks like: “I’ll unleash a catastrophic barrage of web patterns across every scrap of Tamriel! No surface will appear sans tangled gossamer scatterings! Every creature will quiver with fear of my sticky woven vengeance…”
The obscured point to my rampage is that talons sure are neat and – spiderwebs be damned! – after playing the Golden Claw Quest you will probably consider donning a Pamela Love cuff, or at least drool over the abundant talon bedecked offerings on Etsy. Meanwhile, I will languish here for all eternity, eyes glazed over in response to beholding the wonderous cloaking moment that happened during the “Wrath of the Gods” episode of Spartacus: Blood and Sand. Brace yourself for TALON CLASPS.
I don’t think I need to tell you how epic and badass that is. So, what have we learned? Skyrim breaks my heart on the daily. Talons are awesome. Gouge a path into the wet dreams of fantasy lovers the world over by rocking some fowl fetters. (Or dragon shackles, as the case may be.)
I feel confident asserting moss as the Next Big Thing in fashion. Much like the popularity of talons will usher the dawn of harpies as our new It girls, mossy adornment is a logical next step on the way to proliferation of nymph style icons.
Move over hipster darlings, plantlife accessories lap at the heels of fashion gods more rousingly than your irony ever could, and in the current haze of nature obsession they’re primed for explosion.
Bam. Prove me wrong.
The next fantasy element may not be significant to anyone else, as I have an inexplicable fascination for sleeve deets, but ribbon-wrapped sleeves are a thing. My fav killer of this trend is Robin Hood, from the concluded BBC show.
Oof, those gauzy knit fabric wraps hurt so good! If you want to see real development of costume design vision, watch the BBC Robin Hood. It is hilarious and sweet to witness the experimental choices made along the way to honing Frances Tempest’s ultimate sartorial representations of the Nottingham crowd.
Back to ribboned sleeves – you may remember a beloved Galactic Senator who pulled them off enviably. More recently Pam demonstrated a tamer version on True Blood, which is easy inspiration if subtlety’s your thing.
This is the simplest element to scrounge! Last week I cut up a blue velvet leotard to make into a travel chessboard (the other squares are a siq silver snakeskin print) and now I have excess strips to splay knotted around my wrists. I’d also be partial to some light green ribbon action. Holla!
Surely you’ve seen fantasy heroes shoot arrows masterfully. Precision! Style! Safe distance! Arrows save the day. We already fawned over one Robin Hood, do I need to point out any more variants? Dare I even mention Katniss? Rawr.
Anyway, now they can be hair accessories too. I think I’m into this, but then I’m a sucker for arrow imagery most days. On the other hand I might feel like a schmuck wearing arrows in my bun when there are actual skilled archers in the midst. (Safe to say anyone who’s ever played an RPG can appreciate that “dagger technique.” Swoons all around!) I am not a frog princess after all.